One Activity To Do When Someone Is Grieving

Modern society and the quick-fix culture pushes the idea of the magic pill to solve the problem of living a life. The assumption that a person needs to "get strong" or "stop being so emotional" when they are grieving can make a person who is otherwise good-natured into appearing like a callous, insensitive monster. "Take your pill" is a comment I have been told by patients that family has said to them. Perhaps its just that these people don't know how to help their close relative or partner, and act on their own anxiety.

A quick solution is to BE PRESENT. Here, our modern society does make it extremely difficult to be present, in the moment, with someone. We are on our phones, making internet searches, tending to the family or just putting out fires. To be present, there requires a set method and time to do it.

To be present, take a walk with your partner, without your phone or your work. Just be there for him/her. You do not need to talk, or opine. You only need to listen. Reflect what is said to you, and express compassion. Don't be afraid of your compassion for your partner. If he or she is your spouse, don't be shy in showing your connection to him/her on your walk. Take her hand, put your arm around her, or simply walk close to him/her. Don't push the conversation; the walk will, for some reason, guide the conversation. Walk more than 3000 steps, and the grieving person's creative mind will find the solution to their grief. Alone, the grieving person will struggle to find their answer. We are not built that way, to be alone, especially in times of significant loss.

Remember, be present. Even through social media it can be accomplished. My wife, as some know, has experienced significant loss. She has a friend, Alka Vaswani, who is one of the co-owners of the non-profit organization called Infinite Love and who, despite her own heavy travel and work schedule, texted my wife almost daily with small affirmations and good thoughts. This small act has had a large impact of my wife's feeling of being part of a community, and to feel that things will get better. To this, and what she does for the community, I am deeply thankful to Alka.

Grief does not have to be experienced alone. You can find a community, and an individual, who can help you find the answers to your grief.