Notes from a Psychedelic Trip: My First Experience with Ketamine

In the early days of my venture into the uncharted territories of longevity, sometime around 2019, I found myself reunited with an old comrade from my high school days, now a physician of great respect. He kindly offered of a guided ketamine experience; I accepted. Together, we embarked on a quest as ancient as the hills, yet pursued with the vigor of youth—prolonging the span of human life through a regimen of elemental trials. My friend, with the wisdom of the learned and the zeal of a pioneer, crafted a structure that harmonized the fiery ordeal of heat exposure with the icy embrace of cold baths, the disciplined stillness of yoga, the serene depths of meditation, and the curious infusion of ketamine, that most enigmatic of remedies.

At first, I approached the prospect of ketamine with a measure of trepidation, for the notion of such a substance coursing through the veins was as foreign to me as the unexplored frontiers of the wilderness. Yet, I trusted in the purpose of the treatment, in the knowledge that the unknown often held the key to the greatest discoveries. And so, with resolve, I submitted to the procedure, the saline drip cool against my skin as 50cc of ketamine was gently introduced into my bloodstream.

The effect, at first, was subtle, like the soft rustle of leaves in a distant wood. But soon, it began to build, an unseen force that slowly enveloped my senses. The walls of the room, once solid and unyielding, transformed before my eyes into flowing tapestries of beige and light blue, as if the very air around me had taken on the fluid grace of a river winding its way through a sunlit valley. It was a scene both familiar and strange, a world turned inward, where the boundaries of reality seemed to ebb and flow like the tides of a distant sea.

In this altered state, I sought refuge in a meditation technique long practiced, guiding myself through a tunnel that had become a familiar path to inner peace. But this tunnel, unlike those of my past experience, was ablaze with light—bright, radiant, and full of life. Where once there had been darkness, there was now clarity; where once there had been shadows, there was now a gleaming vision of something far greater. My body, numb to the touch, seemed to dissolve into the ether, leaving only my mind, free and untethered, to explore this new realm.

As I journeyed through this bright tunnel, eyes closed but open to the experience, I became aware of a great wall, towering above me, its surface smooth and gleaming like polished marble. It stretched upwards and onwards, far beyond the reach of my inner eye's sight, and as I traveled swiftly along its length, I felt a sense of peace unlike any I had known before. The rapidity of my passage did not bring fear, but rather a calm assurance, a deep-seated understanding that death, that final frontier, was not the end, but merely a passage to something beyond.

When at last I began to return to my senses, and opened my eyes, the feeling of peace and relaxation remained, as steadfast as the great stone walls of a fortress. I sat quietly for an hour, allowing the remnants of the experience to fade, before I finally rose to leave, my mind still awash with the insights I had gained.

In this journey through the unknown, I found a lesson as old as the hills themselves: that in the face of the great mysteries of life, the fear of the unknown can be tempered by a deeper understanding of our place within the vast tapestry of existence. The experience of ketamine, with its rapid passage through bright tunnels and towering walls, offered me a glimpse of a world where existential anxiety is but a fleeting shadow, where peace and clarity can be found even in the swiftest currents of life’s great river. And in that peace, I discovered a truth that will guide me through the wilderness of life: that the journey, though uncertain, is one worth taking, for it leads us ever closer to the heart of what it means to be truly alive.